Success often hinges on two important traits: Confidence and assertiveness. Unfortunately for many women, assertiveness and confidence don’t come easily. It’s just not in our nature, so improvement in these areas could have great impact in our personal and professional lives.

If you could use a boost in these areas, here are 5 steps to become more assertive and confident:

1. Learn the difference between being aggressive and being assertive. People respond better to an assertive person rather than an aggressive person.

• Aggressive Definition – aggressive people are seen as bullies who approach a problem with harsh criticism. They would say someone is doing a project “all wrong,” for example.
• Assertive Definition – An assertive person, on the other hand, approaches the same situation with concerns and ideas to improve the project.

Your goal should be to approach people with positive attitudes and solutions to problems. If you respect others and treat them as you want to be treated, you’ll have the same courtesy returned to you.

2. Become informed. One of the best paths to more confidence is to know your subject matter. No matter what the situation is, the more you know, the more confident you’ll be. It doesn’t matter if it’s a job interview, a presentation to your peers, or speaking up at a PTA meeting, knowing what you’re talking about will give you that aura of confidence you desire.

A good way to know an issue inside and out is to think of all the questions you, as well as others, have on the subject, then find out what the answers are. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel.

3. Model your behavior after people you admire. Chances are, they have the assertiveness and confidence you’re looking for in your own life. Studying people who have the traits you crave is one of the best ways to create those very same traits in yourself.

Begin to observe how they approach situations. Pay attention to what they say and how they say it. Most importantly, watch their body language. Many people will label others as confident without ever having spoken to them. They say that person just exuded confidence when they walked in the room. So pay close attention to how you carry yourself. Then begin training assertive behaviors into your everyday routine.

4.  Overcome shyness. First off, shyness is not the same as having low self-esteem. Many shy people have a very positive image of themselves, but they lack assertiveness and confidence.

Shyness can range from healthy to overwhelming and debilitating. If you’re shy, consider the following assertiveness and confidence training techniques to overcome your shyness:

• Visualization. Visualize yourself as assertive and confident in situations and circumstances where you typically withdraw. This will help you feel more comfortable and prepare you for the unexpected.

• Celebrate your wins. Don’t fixate on the times where your shyness held you back. Instead, focus on the times that you weren’t shy, when you comfortably participated in conversations, even initiated them.

5. Speak up. For effective communication, assertive delivery and confidence are key. Practice speaking with confidence, even if you don’t feel confident. The more you practice, the more it will become second nature.

People who are shy often dislike the sound of their own voices. By practicing speeches in front of a mirror or with trusted friends, you will gain the confidence you need.

Learning to be confident and assertive can enable you to achieve your goals with ease, whatever they may be. Practicing these and other methods will put you on the right track to success, but first and foremost, you must believe in yourself and your abilities.

Bad moods suck. Not just for you, but for everyone around you, too. Getting in a funk is one sure way to put a damper on your day.

So how do you shake off a bad mood?

Easy! Just try out one of these simple ideas to go from funky to fabulous:

1. Get dressed. That’s right. If you’re grumping around in your bathrobe, get up, take a shower, and put on some nice clothes. Studies show that your mood has a lot to do with your self-image. By getting dressed and doing what it takes to make yourself look good on the outside, you feel better on the inside. When you feel better on the inside, your mood changes significantly and you’re ready to face the day.

2. Get moving. Exercise releases hormones that help alter your mood. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just get up and get moving. Getting up and doing something, whether it’s exercising or even walking over to the nearest coffee shop, can give you a big mood boost.

3. Meditate. Focusing your mind along with deep breathing exercises can break you out of any sour mood. Remember back in grade school when you were taught to take deep breaths and count to 10 when you got angry? It was actually for a very good reason. By focusing and breathing slowly, our bodies tend to respond in a positive way by relaxing and releasing tension.

4. Hang out with friends. What are friends for? They put things into perspective and provide a diversion from what’s bothering us.

5. Laugh. There’s no possible way that you can laugh and stay in a bad mood. It’s proven that your emotions follow your actions. So next time you’re in a bad mood, try watching a sitcom or tuning into a comedy channel.

6. Treat yourself. Do something just for you. Now, I don’t advocate retail therapy or fridge therapy. The key is to pamper yourself a little by doing something you don’t normally do. But make sure it’s a healthy treat, like a massage or spa treatment.

Don’t wait for a funky day to try some of these tips. Add several of these feel-good actions to every day, and you’ll soon discover lasting happiness. People may even start calling you perky!

Are you achieving all the goals you set? Why not? Are you abandoning them when the merest of obstacles pop up in our way?

In order to be successful in your goal-setting, you have to anticipate obstacles. But most importantly, I think you need to recognize when you are creating the obstacles.

No matter what task you’re taking on, you can set yourself up for success!

Here are some ways to deal with obstacles that may thwart your endeavors:

Set SMART Goals. Know exactly what it is you’re trying to do. You can’t begin without a plan of some kind. Take the time to plan out your goals and the steps you will take to reach them. Beginning with the end in mind helps you visualize your success.

Expect the unexpected. Even with an exceptional plan, the reality is that things rarely go exactly as you’d expect. You’ll have to stop and make changes at times, and that’s okay! Be prepared for the unexpected with ideas on how to handle a situation if it arises.

• Identify the parts of your plan that may become problematic and lay out alternatives. This will help ensure that you’re not caught off guard when something goes awry.

Trust yourself. You’re in charge of your journey to success. You set your goals and you’re the one making it happen, so you must trust yourself. If you truly have a great passion for what you’re going to do, then you’ll be the best judge of what you want.

• Follow your instincts. That little voice in the back of your head may very well end up telling you exactly what you need to succeed in your goals.

Get help. If there’s something in your way, and it’s too big of an obstacle for you to remove on your own, get help! You can’t do everything by yourself. As humans, we’re social beings, and we need help from those around us.

• Get your friends, family or co-workers involved and welcome their input on how to get around an obstacle in your path. This will bring in new ideas and fresh perspectives on the problem in ways you may have never considered.

Change your approach. There are times when, no matter how hard you try, things just don’t go your way. This is where you need to stop, take a step back, and look at things from a different perspective.

• You become used to your routine, so the fine details can easily slip past you. Take a break and walk away for a little bit. Change your focus for a time; then come back to the problem and you may see something you missed. In order to succeed, we sometimes have to change our approach completely.

Never ever give up. Nothing has ever been solved or accomplished by giving up. Vince Lombardi said it best: “Winners never quit and quitters never win!” This is as true as it gets.

• Being too rigid on something can be counterproductive.  Keep at the problem until you find a solution. It’s there; you just have to find it.

Start again. Sometimes, despite all your efforts, you need to rebuild from the ground up. Maybe one of your fundamental ideas was wrong and had an effect on everything else. This happens, and while it’s a setback, it’s not the end of your dream.

With a little more effort and hard work, you can do it!

Being successful isn’t easy, and it involves a lot of hard work, dedication and sometimes sacrifices. With these tips, a good plan, and positive people around you to help, you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

We’ve all heard the quote, “Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today?” For some of us, this is the only motivation we need, while others struggle with putting things off for weeks, months, or even years.

Many times, we feel overwhelmed with a task, so we continue to put it off until we have no choice but to complete it. Now throw on all the new projects we received while we were putting off the first project, and you have a prime equation for some serious procrastination.

Procrastination doesn’t have to be a way of life for you; you can overcome it. With a little focus and the right attitude, coupled with some practical tips and techniques, procrastination can be a thing of the past.

Here are five strategies you can use today to help you bite the procrastination bug back:

1. Set small goals. Setting small, quickly achievable goals can help you avoid procrastinating in the first place so you don’t get overwhelmed. Here are some tips for setting those small goals:

• Break your big project up into smaller steps. These steps can be completed systematically one at a time. Make sure you have well-defined end points for each smaller goal, that way you have something to keep you going.
• Setting small goals provides you a nonstop feeling of accomplishment as they’re attained. With each individual success, you feel better about yourself, and this motivates you to continue.
• Giving yourself break points allows you to focus on each individual task and takes the overwhelming feeling out of the job. In addition, they give you a prime place to get up, move around, and refresh yourself for the next step.

2. Avoid distractions. We all do it. We sit down to start working, but have to get back up and grab some coffee. Then we sit back down and check email, then voicemail, and then email again just to make sure no one sent a message while we were checking the voicemail. How long did that take?

• Try checking your email only twice a day instead of every 5 minutes. You need to have some time to focus!
• Get everything you want, need or think you need before you sit down to start working so you can concentrate.

3. Delegate. Start giving some of your responsibilities to others instead of hogging them for yourself and creating more stress. Stress leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to tight deadlines, and tight deadlines lead to more stress; it’s a vicious cycle.

4. Keep a list. A constant reminder of the things you absolutely need to do is a great way to avoid procrastination. A small pocket notebook or even a note card works wonders for list keeping.

• Keeping a list puts your daily to-dos in front of you at all times for quick reference.
• Include your small goals on your list. Get started early each day completing those small, easy goals. Doesn’t it feel great to scratch through the things you’ve completed? Before you know it, the whole list is marked off!

5. Turn it off. When you’re done for the day, shut down everything work-related. Don’t take it home if you can help it.

• Turn your brain off at the end of your workday. By giving your brain a break, you help avoid over exhaustion and keep your mind fresh for the next day.
• Spend some time doing the things you love to recharge your batteries for the next day.

Pick one or two of these techniques and try them out for three weeks. Studies have shown it takes 21 days to form a habit and if you truly want to beat procrastination, you have to make productivity a habit.

When you’ve made a habit of one of the strategies, pick out another one, and before you know it, you’ll be the personification of productive!

Relationships are important to everyone. As the saying goes, “No man is an island.” We need and depend on each other. Our relationships help define who we are and how we get along in the world, so we’re often judged by the company we keep.

Relationships add layers of depth to your life. Whether they’re with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, supervisors, or mentors, each one can touch your life and make a difference, so you want to build and cherish all your relationships.

Whether the relationship is in your business or personal life, strong relationships take time, attention, and energy to build, maintain, and nurture.

Here are 5 essential keys to building healthy relationships:

Be Honest. People respond to honesty. In a world where people are often faced with scams and lies, honesty is a priority. The relationships you form with honesty as a foundation will be strong and powerful.

Apologize. If you’re wrong about anything or do something that offends or hurts someone, admit it. Everyone makes mistakes; after all, we’re all human. People respect you more if you admit your mistakes and apologize. Respect strengthens your relationships.

Stay in touch. Relationships require exchanges. In our world today, we have many options to communicate and improve our relationships. Face to face is always the best. Enjoy coffee, lunch, or just stop in for a chat. Not only are you communicating, but you’re also fully devoting your time to them as well.

Recognize accomplishments. Let people know that you notice even their small accomplishments. Everyone likes to be noticed and recognized. It fosters good feelings and builds on your relationship when you give someone a well-deserved compliment.

• Let your co-worker know they did a great job on their presentation.
• Tell your husband thanks for washing your car.
• Give your child a hug for doing a great job on anything!

Take a genuine interest in those you have relationships with. Don’t just serve up generic compliments from time to time. Ask questions. Showing an interest and remembering small personal details lets them know that you’re thinking about them and that you’re interested in their life.

• Learn from their experiences. For example, you can ask, “How did you do that?”
• Ask about what they’ve been working on.
• Inquire about their family, baseball team, or the new puppy.

Relationships add much to our lives. In our personal life, they can add the richness of friends and shared memories. In our business life, they can bring us success and recognition. Strong, healthy relationships are the founding corners of a rewarding life.

Relationships grow over time. While there are the rare finds where you instantly bond with someone, this is the exception rather than the rule. Be sure to follow these tips to build and nurture profitable relationships that will stand the tests of time and challenges.