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You hear the phrase “life balance” or “work life balance” a lot these days, but many people are still left wondering what it means. Many assume it’s being supermom–keeping the house clean, working full time, taking the kids to their activities, volunteering, socializing, and keeping those home fires burning, if you know what I mean. And if you really have your stuff together, you make time for yourself, too.
Let’s be real. You may be able to do all of these things some of the time, but I doubt you can do all of these things all of the time. If you’re trying to, you may find yourself suffering burnout and may begin to experience symptoms of stress.
To me, life balance isn’t about doing everything, and doing it perfectly. It’s about identifying what’s important to me and making sure that I spend most of my time doing, getting, or keeping it. And I do this by using an easy 3-step process.
1. Examine–First, I review my calendar to see what I’m currently spending my time on. I divide it into categories like family, husband, me, social, work, chores/home, etc.
2. E-VALUE-ate–Next, I write down what is most important to me in life, what I value most right now. For many of us, this is spending time with our children and our spouses, but it could also be our work if we have been lucky enough to find a career that is very fulfilling. For each of us, what we hold most dear will be different. Knowing what’s important helps determine how we want to spend our time from now on.
3. Exchange–Now I go back to my calendar to see if I’m actually spending time on the things I value most. Tip: If you keep your calendar on your computer, you may be able to color-code the types of activities, making it very easy to see which category you’re spending the most time in. If you find that you are not spending most of your time on the things that bring you the most joy, then begin letting go of those obligations that aren’t fulfilling and fill in those times with the activities and people you truly value.
There are a couple things to keep in mind, though, in this process. When you create your list of values, you might find it helpful to rank them in order of importance. For instance, my list includes my children and husband, as well as extended family and friends, career, self-care, and volunteer work. I know that I can’t work all of it into my calendar every day, but as long as I fit most of it in on a weekly basis, I feel fulfilled and balanced. Some things like hobbies and volunteer work I may have to relegate to a bi-monthly basis, but the important thing is to include it somewhere in my schedule.
Also, your needs could change on any given day. If you’ve had a particularly stressful day at work, then making time for yourself should take precedence. Or maybe you’ve enjoyed volunteering at the local animal shelter on a weekly basis, but lately you feel like you’re missing out on family life. By all means, cut back on your volunteer work and make more time for family. It’s good to check in with yourself frequently to see if what you’re spending time on is really making you feel balanced.
Remember, life balance isn’t about doing it all. It’s about knowing what makes you feel healthy and happy and then doing it.
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